#preparingfor30 #Eyesarewatching

"Children have never been good at listening to their elders. But they have never failed to imitate them."
Today was tough in mamahood. My daughter made some poor choices at school that i took personally. 
Listen, taking care of little humans did not come with a personalized handbook. There are some days when I absolutely feel like I'm failing as a parent, and others when I feel like the single mama superwoman who undoubtedly "got this!"
Early in my journey of mamahood I believed that my daughter was my remix, I had a long list of things I wanted her to do, I had an idea of what I wanted her personality to be like, her style.. her vibe etc. But as we grew to learn about one another I realized, she's her own little person. That was a hard pill to swallow. 
Everyday is a lesson. Everyday I'm faced with a new task to overcome. Every day she reminds me that I aint always got this!- the a ha moment is to remember that its ok! 
I beat myself up often because I feel like i suck as a mama. But I have to remember Im doing the best i can. There are days when my daughter doesn't listen, she ignores me and completely behaves in a way that goes against all i've tried to instill in her. There are some days I literally want to scream, pull my hair out and hide in the closet away from my children. 
But my daughter is watching. My son is watching. No matter how tired, defeated, frustrated, worn out, happy, joyful (insert any other emotion here) I can't forget... I have 2 sets of eyes watching. 
The journey ain't easy. And I'm reminded by my mama that I'm getting all that I gave her. ha!
Mama's, its ok to say you are drained. Or that you are tired of mama-ing - yes i made up that word! Our children need to see that we are taking care of ourselves. 
Take a moment to deep breath, self care and come back. Guide them, love them. It will all work it self out in the end. 
"What you help a child love can be more important than what you help her to learn." African Proverb.
Signed, 
Puma, The MelanatedMama. 
#preparingfor30
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