Mother's day just passed 2 days ago. And while usually i try to dwell on things I find my idle thoughts being consumed with how my expectations weren't met on this day. It may be petty of me to feel the way I do but its how i feel and I'm owning that.
It's no secret that my daughter's father and I are not really close. We are still figuring out this co-parenting situation and frankly our relationship is null in void. While I was not expecting a card, or a trip to a restaurant to pretend we are this happy family. I WAS however expecting a simple text or phone call to acknowledge my work as the mother of his child. All day i anticipated this call/text and didn't get anything. So i reached with a text. "Hey, today is mother's day - just thought I would hear from you being that I am taking care of your daughter" no response. But a phone call later that implied he forgot, and that he was waiting for fathers day to actually give me some sort of acknowledgement. He waited for the laugh- but i didn't get the joke and just hung up. I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to cry and while i managed to keep from doing so physically, I know my soul cried. I stand strong for the rest of day and encourage the great energy my daughter had. She woke up in good spirits, let me dress her and comb her hair with no fussing and took a 2.5 hour nap! She was soo good to me. However post Mother's day I am still sad. I simply can not understand the rationale and behaviors that some people have and choose to do. But then this morning I read my home girl's blogs https://www.facebook.com/QueenBTheWriter and www.strongblackqueen.weebly.com I realized that I can no longer adjust my crown to accommodate others. So what he did not call me. So what he didn't text me. All of this is HIS lost. Not mine. Life goes on. As simple as that. LIFE GOES ON. And i can no longer hold myself accountable for someone else's lack of.... So to all the single mama's doing it on your own ( with the help of your tribe of course) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
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@iampumalagos AuthorIm the mama of Marli Amor and Kingston Ase. Archives
June 2020
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