What can say?
One year ago today I gave birth to my piece of peace. Literally.
As I think back to where I was this time last year, I was emotionally and spiritually drain. Literally at my dead in, back up agains the way, ready to call a quits. I can remember during my pregnancy with him feeling broken and lost and yearning for a change. I was on the heels of a mental breakdown and knew that something in my life needed to shift. I never in a hundred years could have guess that shift would have been raising a second child... alone....
I found out I was pregnant with my son at 6 months. 6 FULL months have gone by without me noticing a change in my body. 6 full months of pregnancy that left me with just four short months to plan a life with a new little person to care for.
No morning sickness, swollen breasts or back pain. Hell, I didn't even gain any weight. I literally had NO FREAKING IDEA.
He literally gave me no trouble has he quietly grew in my womb... It wasn't until he decided to make his earth side appearance that I knew he would keep me on my toes and many lesson to teach his mama.
.My water bag broke during my nephew's 16th birthday dinner...at Buffalo Wild Wings. This was also the day before my best fran was scheduled to leave the United States for a year of living aboard. His timing has always been rather perfect.
God knew EXACTLY what he was doing when he chose me to be his mama. In this past year I learned to love without conditions..Scratch that... I learned to LOVE MYSELF without conditions. My son taught me to choose happiness... everyday even when its not easy. He also taught me patience. His calm chill demeanor always reminded me in my anxious moments to just relax. God's gone work it out.
People who know me personally would always say King's demeanor is so chill. He never cried and simply appeared to just make observations of life happening all around him. He taught me to be more like him.
I could not imagine my life with my Kingston ASE. His is my everything.. My and so it will be. My peace. There is something magical the way a boy loves his mama. He, at 3, 4, 5 months made me feel like the most important person in the world... simply from his toothless smile. He cultivated my desires to get closer to Christ.
He renewed my faith in men.
He gave me reason to want to love (Black) men.. again. For after all I am raising a Black man. I almost gave up on them.
My son is 1. ( 12 months cause Im one of them mamas that will tell my son's age in months until he's 1.5 years old)
Kingston Ase has made ONE full rotation around the sun. We made it one year. I am so proud.
Kingston is walking, laughing, eating his own food, chasing after our dog, screaming, saying "go" and "oreo" --- but no mama yet (insert major side eye lol).
I am so proud to be his mama.
My Kingston Ase.
Happy Born day son from Mama and Marli.