Dear Frans and Family members, 

I need y'all help!! Ive seen several blogs that speak to the lack of photos that a single mother will have with her children- that aren't selfies/ussies. At first I was just sure that I had a healthy amount of ussies and photos taken of me and my children. However after a weekend of organizing my digital files I realized that I actually have far too many ussies and a very limited amount of photos actually taken of me and my children. sort of like some 3k photos and maybe 50 are photos taken of me and my children. 

That fact made me pretty sad,

I am almost ten months post partum and finally I'm beginning to fall in love with my body again. Finally I'm starting to see my reflection and recognize the person staring back at me. Finally I WANT to be photographed period. 

The over arching problem is I rarely have any photos of me interacting with my children and that has to change. 


So here is my request for my village of frans and family that see me often. 

Take photos of me.. even when I'm not looking/paying attention. I want my children to go back into their albums and see how involved I was in their lives. I want my children to know i was present. 

Send me the photos so that I can print them and add them right away to their albums.

Your help in this matter will be greatly appreciated! 


Peace, 
The MelanatedMama

If parenting has taught me one thing,,its taught me that this little person already has her own predetermined destiny and that my job is guide and expose her to things that will contribute to her greatness.

I remember when I thought parenting a child meant I would be in control of their decision- making. However she reminds me, often, that she's clear about her likes and dislikes.  I was sure that being a parent meant that I could dress them how I wanted and that basically the child would do and be what ever I wanted them to be.... and then I became a parent.

My daughter is intelligent, opinionated, observant and eager to learn. She has critical thinking skills and is beginning to show some higher level thinking abilities. Parenting my child has taught me more about me then I could have ever imagined. While writing this very post I had an "aha" moment about my desires to control situations in my life- the conclusion is you can't. 

I have to remember that it is my job as her mother is to guide her, not control her. My job is to nurture her spirit and let her lead the way. A totally different approach to how I was parented. 

I was raised (for the most part) on the premise of "Do as I say and not as I do" or " because I said so" ideologies. In order to raise a child who is confident, aware and empowered I believe I must let her lead the way. She is control of her body, she determines her wardrobe, and hair styles, she's learning (already) to make choices and to own them. Yes, at three she's learned that now some choices are good ones - and that consequences are real. 

There are some days when I'm drained and overwhelmed with this parenting approach- however I realize that in the end it will all make sense. There are still some times when my choices must trump hers- for safety but I'm confident my decision to let her lead the way is the best way to raise an aware individual!

What are your thoughts?